Stupid is as stupid writes

You know, it's always freaked me out when people say the (invented?) word utilize. I know they have mush for brains when they can't muster the use word. Now, I thought I was alone on this, but as it turns out, I'm not:

I could of course rant at length about style, but it's pretty open-ended: people constantly find clever new ways to be unclever. So I will restrict my stylistic remarks to the use of the word "utilize". "Utilize" has been scientifically demonstrated to be used only by stupid people, so if you use it you could easily be mistaken for one. A stupid person, that is, not a scientist. "Utilize" is one of the all-time classic Stupidity Indicators, right up there with saying "choo-choo-choo" out loud when you're thinking. Ever notice how only stupid people make train noises when they're thinking? "Oh gosh, lemme think, chsh chsh chsh... hmmm, choo choo choo..."I could of course rant at length about style, but it's pretty open-ended: people constantly find clever new ways to be unclever. So I will restrict my stylistic remarks to the use of the word "utilize". "Utilize" has been scientifically demonstrated to be used only by stupid people, so if you use it you could easily be mistaken for one. A stupid person, that is, not a scientist. "Utilize" is one of the all-time classic Stupidity Indicators, right up there with saying "choo-choo-choo" out loud when you're thinking. Ever notice how only stupid people make train noises when they're thinking? "Oh gosh, lemme think, chsh chsh chsh... hmmm, choo choo choo..."

The article's got great tips for aspiring young people who want to make their résumés look great too!